The Foolish and the Weak
by HYPERFocused
Summary: The first time Luke's passion for Ryan isn't sublimated into violence, they both still end up with bruises. LukeRyan slash


The first time Luke sees Ryan in handcuffs is when they're both locked in the back of the police cruiser after the incident at the model house. It won't be long before Ryan is out of their lives for good, back to whatever hellhole the courts send him. Luke tells himself he can't wait.  
  
Ryan's face is bruised and bloody from Luke's fists, and Luke should be feeling happier about this than he is. Instead, he flinches as he listens to Ryan cough, knowing the sound of broken ribs. He wonders how much smoke damage Ryan's lungs have had, as well. Ryan's been hurt the most, but Luke is the one who feels raw. Luke knows it's animals that lick their wounds, not people, but he wonders what it would be like to kiss Ryan, and taste the warm saltiness from his split lip.  
  
The rush of anger he felt seeing Marissa leave Ryan's temporary home is mostly gone. His red moods never last long, he tends to burn out quickly rather than let things smolder.   
  
Ryan, on the other hand, smolders. Luke can feel the rage simmering just under the surface, and it scares him - almost as much as it excites him. There's an undercurrent there of something Luke doesn't quite get, but he wants to know better. When Ryan unleashes it, it's like the glow from his cigarette: bright and harsh, and a little bit dangerous.  
  
He thinks about it a lot, before he gets up the nerve to do anything about it. Fists himself to the image of Ryan's reddened wrists, the way they'd looked after the metal bands had been released. It used to be thoughts of Marissa's long legs that did it for him, or the memory of Holly's breasts fitting perfectly into his hands. It's not supposed to be the pull of short dirty blond hair under his fingers, or the stinging heat of a bruised cheekbone that makes his breath catch and his eyes widen. That's just sick, and Luke is a perfectly normal guy. All of this is just an aberration.   
  
The first time Luke's passion for Ryan isn't sublimated into violence, they both still end up with bruises. Luke presses Ryan down onto the futon in the pool house, and holds Ryan's wrists together over his head. Luke imagines he can smell Ryan's leather wrist cuff on his own fingers for the rest of the day.   
  
"I wish I could tie you up," he tells Ryan, but Ryan won't let him. He doesn't mind the hands so much, but any real restraint makes him nervous.   
  
"It's not so fun when you've really been in lock-up," he says. "Besides, I'm not sure I trust you that much."  
  
"Then why are you letting me near your dick?" Luke asks him.  
  
"That's a good question," Ryan answers without really telling him anything. Luke isn't sure there are any answers anyway.  
  
They're making out in Luke's bedroom when Ryan relents a little, getting up and grabbing a few ties off the back of Luke's closet door and handing them to Luke. "You'll take them off me the second I tell you to, and you won't tie them tight," he tells Luke. Oddly, at that moment Luke has no inclination to use them on Ryan at all. Instead, he lies back on the bed himself, stretching his arms toward the bedposts.  
  
"I trust you," he shrugs. "Do what you want."   
  
Ryan looks a little surprised, but he goes with it, looping the silk ties around each wrist and tying them snugly to the wooden posts. "If you're sure," he says, and the glint in his eyes is somewhere between amusement and arousal. It's a little scary. The whole situation makes Luke hard, and Ryan hasn't begun to touch him yet. Hell, they're both still fully dressed.  
  
Luke expects that to change. Any minute now Ryan will unbutton Luke's shirt, then teasingly unzip his jeans. Ryan's hand around Luke's cock will be warm, and he'll stroke Luke with a rhythm that's entirely unlike the one Luke usually uses, but he'll love it anyway.  
  
None of that happens. Instead, Ryan stands over him, and peels off his own clothing. He tosses his shirt onto Luke's chair. Ryan's wife-beater falls onto Luke's face, and blocks his view. He takes a moment to inhale Ryan's scent from it, before he shakes it off with his teeth. The jeans go next, sliding slowly down Ryan's thighs, revealing his erection through his boxer-briefs. Luke watches, frustrated, as Ryan reaches down and strokes himself.  
  
"Did you want something?" Ryan asks, finally peeling the briefs off as well. His hand moves swiftly, and Luke watches it's back and forth motion, the leather cuff turned into a dark brown blur.  
  
"Fuck, Ryan! You can't just leave me like this." Luke strains up to try and touch him, but there isn't enough give on the ties. Ryan takes pity on him, and leans down to kiss him. Then he gets back up again, and finishes what he was doing.  
  
Ryan comes, eyes closed and face flushed. Luke follows not long after, only a little embarrassed it happened without his being touched. Ryan asks if he's all right when he unties him, and Luke wonders if he is or not. "Yeah, I'm fine," he says. He's not even sure what 'fine' is, anymore.  
  
It takes a few months for Luke to find out this thing with Ryan isn't all that surprising after all. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. He and Ryan are supposed to be working together on a project for school, and they stop off at his Dad's dealership before they head to the house. He's not exactly sure why, though he'd been picturing jacking Ryan off in his favorite yellow Ferrari, or pushing Ryan's head down on his cock while the six speaker Dolby system blasted over the sound of his moans.  
  
None of that happens this time. They're just getting settled in the car when he hears a noise. The shock of seeing his father kissing another man takes him right out of the moment. He can't get away from Ryan fast enough. He doesn't know what the hell he's been doing, but if his father's been doing it too, then it has to mean more than experimentation. He thought it was just a freaky teenage thing, not something he might still want to do when he was married and had kids. That scares Luke more than anything. Yeah, he felt kind of bad about cheating on Marissa, but he couldn't imagine doing it when he had a family. He always thought his mom and dad loved each other.  
  
When they get back to the house, it's obvious things have changed in Ryan's eyes. Suddenly he's being supportive, and saying "It's not that bad, he could be a criminal. He could beat you. Your real friends will stick by you." Luke isn't sure he has any real friends anymore, and he hadn't counted Ryan among them, exactly. Ryan is just the guy he fucks. Or, well, almost. They haven't actually gone that far yet. And it's weird, now that they're hanging around like friends he's not sure he wants to. It feels too weird. Besides, it's obvious he was just a stopgap for Ryan. Once Seth gets his act together Luke will be out in the cold.  
  
People say he's all surface and no depth. Ryan is the one who has layers. Luke wants to peel them away until he can see the real guy underneath. He scrapes at Ryan's back and shoulders, but the red welts that come up under his blunt nails don't reveal any kind of truth. Ryan's "Fuck, Luke, not so rough. Seth is going to ask questions," tells him all he needs to know. It's Seth's opinion that really matters to Ryan, Seth's approval that he seeks. This thing with Luke is just an interlude. So is his thing with Marissa.  
  
Luke doesn't know what he's thinking when he finds himself in bed with Julie Cooper. It's like he's punishing himself, but not really, because she's seriously hot. It's a bad idea all around, but as with Ryan, he can't help himself. At least if his friends find out about Julie, they'll think he's a stud, and not a fucking queer. He's ashamed of himself for thinking that way, but he's not ready to lose his good reputation entirely.  
  
"It's already gone, man." Luke hears Ryan's voice say in his head. It matches his memory of Ryan's reaction to the whole affair. Disgust and disdain, and Luke really shouldn't care so much. Ryan was just a guy he fooled around with. Luke hoped for a little jealousy, but whatever was going on between them was over. Ryan probably wanted to wash his hands of Marissa _and_ Luke.  
  
The last time he sees Ryan, it's Luke who is bloody and bruised. He knows he's lucky. The truck came out worse than he did. He tells Ryan how sorry he is about everything. It was only himself he meant to hurt.   
  
They talk more that afternoon than they've done in the months that they've known each other. Ryan actually sounds like he's disappointed Luke is leaving to go live with his dad, but Luke knows he's just being nice. Newport is better off without him. He'll be Portland's bitch, now.  
  
He gives Ryan one last once-over, searching for any signs he'll be remembered. Ryan looks good. The bruises Luke left are long gone, but Luke hopes he left an imprint, anyway.


End file.
